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welshpixie
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Name: Becky
Gender: Female
Interests: i love my friends, and i love the sea. i'm working out what it means to be me and to belong to God.
Expertise: commenting loudly about a person when they are still less than 3 feet away from me. pulling silly faces.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/27/2004
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| brief update: i've got a boyfriend! how d'ya like them apples. so, i still feel uncertain what i want to do with my life, or more to the point, what God wants me to do, but i'm realising it matters more that i know who he wants me to be, so that's what i'm working on. got a couple of possibilities for jobs, which is nice, looking into that. i love pubchurch, i love my friends, i love my boyfriend and my family... i don't love that in less than 3 months i'll no longer be a student, but i do love that i won't have to do essays! and that i'll have time to read books out of CHOICE. bring it. um, so, yeah. i feel really content, i'm beginning to feel more and more comfortable in my skin, less worried about the future, about demands on my energy, about getting it right... i'm enjoying being God's girl and also someone else's girl. if you want to find me, i'll be on facebook. :) x | | |
| so, just to update, i feel like God's taking my life apart and putting it back together. Over the last few weeks i've had a lot of conversations with people i love a lot, and i've been working out what's going on. turns out that the way i was living was unsustainable, and because i'm not very good listening the 1st, 3rd or 5th time, God had to strip everything down until it was just him left, the bedrock of my life, so we could start over. I found myself apathetic, not knowing what i was passionate about, what my ministry is, what my future might look like. and when that happened, i finally realised that they don't matter. i mean, they do, but not so much as the one, central, unchanging thing.
i found myself caring more about doing stuff for God than spending time with God, so i think He decided something had to be done about it, until a fortnight later i was sat talking with a friend about how i don't give a monkeys about Christianity, but i know that i love God, that I'm his, that i want to work out what it means to really follow Jesus. and i realised, that's actually the best place to be. something in me has changed over the last couple of years. i don't know any of the answers anymore, i can't do anything to help, and i got tired of trying to be strong and calm and capable. it's about time. It's a good thing, i want to be the becky i am now and not try to keep being the kid i used to be, thinking she's sorted, thinking she's going to change the world. don't get me wrong, i'm not going to shrink my dreams. I'm working out, with my Father, who i am, what matters and what doesn't, all that i am in Christ and all that i'm not in Christ. and when i begin to define my dreams and desires again, it'll be the ones that God is giving me. but my biggest desire right now is to be my Father's child, to learn how to rest in God. More will come, but i don't think i'm ready for it right now. after all, it's a marathon, not a race, as various people have told me over the years. i'm so thankful to God for sticking by me in my foolishness, and for the friends he's given me, for the lengths he goes to to get through to me. he is good.
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| i can't wait to go back to cardiff and see all my friends again! Annie, call me the minute you get home. of course i'm your first priority :) so sorry to hear about robin.
you guys are great and i'm looking forward to living with you this year! I'm coming up to visit on monday so you better all be there.
this week i have been mostly reading.... literally. i finished 'the irresistable revolution' -what an amazing read! (thanks nigel, i'll get your book back to you soon), i read C.S. Lewis' 'The Great Divorce', and my friend Richard Oostrum's book 'A guy who was gay'. Kevin and Ellie came down, so it was fun chilling out with them too. still haven't been surfing, i've just resigned myself to being a lazy bum, i'm quite happy with that. | | |
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I just wanted to let you know that my friend Mark died on friday evening in a car crash. he's been a part of Broad Haven church for just over a year, and though i didn't really spend much time with him he had a massive impact on the church and was a close friend of my sisters. he was 25, but i believe that he reached his Godly potential, and only since his death have we reflected on his life and realised just how much we have to learn from him! we are going to miss him, but we rejoice that he seemed somehow prepared for death, perhaps more than we know (he had a premonition-type dream a couple of months ago). he spent the most part of his last few days with us all at flames of fire and then spending time with his parents and grandparents who had travelled down to from nottingham to visit, and left a few hours before his crash. he died instantly, and instantly got his massive welcome of 'Well done, good and faithful servant'. We are still discovering how far reaching his life was, from the kids he met on the recent trip he led to Durban with Soul Action/Tear Fund, to the bloke he met in the toilets on the campsite at flames of fire and had an hour and a half chat with.
Two things i've been thinking about that were evident in Mark's life that i want to have in mine:
-There was so little 'noise' in his life. he was always thoughtful, calm, focused. His life was simple and unhurried and so effective.
-I never heard, and no one else can remember, a negative comment come from his mouth. He would stay silent in gossip or criticism, only opening his mouth to offer a thoughtful, encouraging or challenging comment, and his comments always re-focused us on Jesus. Everything he said was to build people up, never to tear them down. His words brought life and pointed people to Jesus.
I so want to see these things in my life! I recognise that though Mark and I were very different in personality and I shouldn't seek to be like him, these were reflections of the character of Jesus in him, and I want to reflect Jesus in these ways too.
Please join me in praying for Mark's parents, his brother Ian, all his family and friends, and the Church in Broad Haven and Nottingham. Thanks.
Pursue a righteous life—a life of wonder, faith, love, steadiness, courtesy.
Run hard and fast in the faith. Seize the eternal life, the life you were called to, the life you so fervently embraced in the presence of so many witnesses.
1 Timothy 6.11-12
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| so, news...not a lot really. i'm back at home for a few days, working in the cafe, gotta love it. then flames of fire! whoop! I'll get to see Maaike and Wouter and of course my lovely housemate Elin and tons of other friends. it'll be good, as always. last week i was supposed to be at aquasplash all week but i realised on sunday that that was just never going to happen, i was too tired to do anything, so i took my first step on the road of saying no/delegation/stopping/pacing myself and decided to join it for the last 2 days. tuesday i had fun chilling with my Father on the cliff path, reading, journalling, scratching my legs on brambles and gorse. wednesday i went to the royal welsh with Val, Michelle, Nigel and Gary on an 'ignite' day out. very amusing. and yes, the BBC voted me as the next derek brockman after my weather girl debut. haha. then thursday and friday i was at aquasplash in st. mellons. love that place, love those kids (most of the time) and it was really sweet to hang out with the EZ:36 team and meet my friend Lois's Brazilian boyfriend... then saturday was michelle's memorable 18th birthday party. sunday i messed up my train times and ended up with Val at Nigel's house slobbing the day away. haven't had a day like that in SO long! also, i just spoke to my cousin for the 1st time in six months, and realised i haven't spoken to my brother in maybe 3 or 4 months. So, if you're mourning the sound of my voice, know that you're not alone, i don't even keep in touch with close family members!
and now that you know all my comings and goings of the week just gone, your lives are measurably more complete. you are welcome. :) when i have more time i'll write some of my thoughts from my train ride home where i read this awesome book, 'Wild Wanderings' by Karen Lowe, and got very excited about the idea of God taking over my life. fun fun.
over and out my lovelies x | | |
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